Ozaryn

allowing my light to radiate freely

1,495 notes

it will not be at 3 am in someone else’s arms and it will not be when you throw the box of pictures and letters and memories across the room because they’re gone now. They are gone now and you can’t do a thing about it.

this is how you will fall out of love, it will be slow and it will be painful, like slowly tearing a band-aid off, except worse. It will be gradual, like the first time you realized you were falling into love. You may be walking down the hallway of your home when you forget what their nose looks like. There will be flashbacks and times where you imagine them to be right next to you at anytime. You will smell the cigarette smoke and look around, because that used to be them. A stranger will smile at you and you will wish they weren’t around to see you cry.


this is how you will fall out of love, when you realize you used past tense to talk about them. This time you did not have to correct yourself and you did not cry. There will be stormy nights and you will want to text them, “I miss you” but you don’t. You don’t because it’s time. It’s time and you both know it and even though it hurts, you make the decision to turn out the lights and fall asleep alone.
this is how you will fall out of love, you will see someone and think they are cute and you will not feel shame because you saw someone that was not them. You will find yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror, with water dripping off of your freckled skin, right after your shower. You will connect your freckles and pinch your love handles and you will close your eyes and you will remember all the times they held you, but you will not miss them. You will allow yourself this one night of no regrets, this one night of not missing them, this one night of being alone and knowing you’re worthy, because there have been so many nights harder than this one.

this is how you will fall out of love, you will finally forgive them for keeping that from you. It will be less about forgiving and more about forgetting. You will stop blaming yourself, you will stop imagining a future where you meet ten years down the road in a coffee shop or a punk show where your favorite band is playing, and you start over. There is no starting over. You know this is the end. You know it won’t happen again.

this is how you will fall out of love, there will be many sleepless nights. there will be many sleepless nights. there will be many sleepless nights. there will be many sleepless nights, but one day you will drift off to sleep and you won’t dream of them. It will be hard and it may take seven months or a year or three years but you will fall out of love with them and it will hurt and you will hold them in your knees like grass stains that don’t wash out and you may forget their face and you may forget their name but they are a part of you now. You will fall out of love with them and they will fall out of love with you and you will forever see love differently. You will forever see God differently. You will talk to the Divine like they are human, like they are broken, like they have loved and lost it all, too.


this is how you will fall out of love, you will remember that you could never promise forever and you will realize that this was good for as long as it lasted. Your love was fresh and pure until it ran out. You will understand that it did not need to last forever, it did not need to become stale.

Amanda Helm, This is How You WIll Fall Out of Love (via amandaspoetry)

(via thisfragilerose)

58,960 notes

I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
with a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.

This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You
will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms
will bandage and we will press promises
between us like flowers in a book.
I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat
on your skin. I will write novels to the scar
of your nose. I will write a dictionary
of all the words I have used trying
to describe the way it feels to have finally,
finally found you.

And I will not be afraid
of your scars.

I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.

Clementine von Radics, Mouthful of Forevers  (via versteur)

(Source: lovemestarkly, via terrestrialgoddess)

2,903 notes

At 2:21 in the morning, it’s hard to see what keeps you going. You’re stuck in that strange place where it’s sort of nice to know you’ll always have a cold spot in the bed when both sides of the pillow get warm, but that’s just a sharp-nailed fact scraping itself down the realization that you’re still going to bed by yourself. You are comfortable but lonely as hell. You’re tired but not sure quite of what. So you roll over and close your eyes and wonder if maybe nights are darker for the people who are sleeping alone.

Relative by K.P.K

(via towritepoems)

(via clingingtosanity)

2 notes

assests

I’ve got weed but no one to smoke it with.
I’ve got time on my hands but no one to spend it with. Notebooks filled with flowery words and thoughts and memories but no one to share them with.
A need to be intimate but no one to be affectionate with.
I wish I could be like the girl fearless in her endeavors taking what she wants with a brave heart and a clear mind. I just wanna exchange energies, feel your vibe. I want to be able to need you and not feel weak, call and not damage my pride. But I’ve been scared.
Often I wish I could fly into another dimension, so I don’t know what lonely feels like, and come back down just in time for you to say: ‘Hi, you don’t know how great it feels that I’ve finally found you’.